We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
