he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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