nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We left the knife in your bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize