My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
