Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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