Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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