i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
