What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
