don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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