You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
