we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
how does that bad decision feel?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
