idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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