She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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