how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
