I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
