And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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