I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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