I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize