i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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