you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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