Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
