she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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