It's Friday. Sex?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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