when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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