Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
