Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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