dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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