This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
