I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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