Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
