I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
