Quick, to the slutcave!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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