is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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