apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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