You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
