Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
