We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
