there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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