I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
