No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
