Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
