Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize