They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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