That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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