I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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