how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
