My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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