Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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