i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
