once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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