CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize