what day is it and did you see me today?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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