But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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