i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
