my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize