I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
