dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
