I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Can I color on your dick again?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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