Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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