you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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