I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I did not marry a roomba.
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