Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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