In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
