i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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